down.

Damn, I hate this. I am so incredibly crashing. What is wrong with me today?

Everything is looming:

••School starts next Monday--I still don't have the Disability authorization so I can take an adapted PE course, nor do I have the prerequisite challenge authorized so I can take Dreamweaver or CSS. (all the paperwork is in, just waiting now)
Plus when I do get that authorized, I have to get myself there, somehow getting past my agoraphobia fears and my confusion/stress reaction (aka, "meltdown") and I'm already all stressed just thinking about dealing with traffic and parking and hordes of people and buying my books and finding the classroom and and and...

••A friend of mine is going on vacation this Friday for 8 days, and asked me to tend the rescue while he is gone. It absolutely didn't occur to me to say no...but now I'm so scared that I am going to fuck something up! I kind of know what's expected of me, but he has people coming by his place at random times, _all_ the time...how do I deal with that? How do I keep his place safe and his animals and everything? what if what if what if...

••Our stock is crashing, and hard, and we keep getting calls from ML asking us what we want to do, telling us we should sell, and basically being pests. How come they never called us, and even gave us the supreme brush-off, when we were poor? And suddenly we get this gift of stock, and now ML is calling us EVERY week--at first, it was every DAY. Fuckers. Their desire to make money off of us is so brutally transparent that it pisses me off, and I don't want to deal with them--so I need to find us a new brokerage.

••I've volunteered to work on a friend's website and get him a physical presence in the online world (the same friend mentioned above, who runs the reptile rescue that I'm tending for 8 days), but my coding skills are really not up to the task--hence the classes I am taking. I won't have the knowledge to get said webpages up until the end of the year, but there's a push to get the site active ASAP. I really don't have the skills yet, as much as I want to do it!

••All sorts of our critters are sick:
Tasha has hyperthyroidism, and is now on methimazole. The options are medicate for ever, or surgery to remove her thyroid (or at least the tumorous part), or allow them to inject radioactive iodine, which the tumors will drink up and die from. What to do?
Daisy has either a brain tumor, or had a stroke, so now she gets phenobarbital twice a day. She staggers about, in circles to the left...she's getting stronger, but will probably be in the "sick cage" for the rest of her life.
Atlantis has been acting very lethargic, beyond the depression expected for losing his best buddy Fizzbinn a few months ago, so I took him in...his blood sugar was low, and the vet ran an insulin test, but I have yet to hear back from the vet.
Ginsu was staggering and acting REALLY weird this afternoon, so I made an appointment for her for tomorrow...I just checked on her, and she's still wobbly--I don't know what happened to her!

And here I am making a blog entry instead of cleaning or folding laundry or feeding snakes or something. Sigh.