TTKism #155

Him: Are you burning something?

Me: Noooooo...

Him: Oh, nevermind...it's just my computer.

Happy Anniversary!!!!

You know how occasionally you have a one-night-stand that doesn't know when to LEAVE the next morning?

On this date 12 years ago, TTK came over to give me a backrub...ended up staying all night...and at some point we had sex, then talked about it and both decided we weren't into casual sex and wanted a relationship.

So basically, he was the one-night-stand that didn't leave. Heh.

Our other version is that I saw him online, decided I liked him, and stalked him for six months...clubbed him in the head and dragged him back to my lair.

Or I stalked him, but got tired so declared celibacy from all relationships...then a week later when I was on ICB I announced I would "kill or die for a backrub." Seconds later a private message came, from TTK, "I'll give you one!"

I panicked, said "how about tomorrow?" 

he came over the next night, and once again never left.

Heh.

I proposed for months, at random moments, and one day (at a random moment!) he said, "Yes, I'll marry you."

The rest I'll tell you later, but I'll leave you with this...

He's been packing his things very randomly. 

Last night we discovered that he packed the condoms.

[THUD]

As our searching got more frantic, realization dawned in TTK that they were in a box we had just taken to the new place...he shamefacedly and slowly told me...and I started cracking up.

talk about a buzzkill!

Ah, to be an inept teenager again...

Annoyed and Amused...

A few hours ago we put a cat tree and a hammock at the end of our driveway, with a big "FREE" sign on them.

TTK came back in from taking out the trash just now, and said, "I am simultaneously amused and annoyed. Someone saw our 'FREE' pile and put a television next to it."


HEH!

QOTD

I think anything smart enough to be playful is smart enough to be a shit --ttk

Interlude 124

Me (looking at our cat, Max): Is he still alive?

TTK: Yeah, he's alive. The dead don't snore.

Interlude 449, plus Sam Thoughts.

Him (calling from the bedroom): This is NOT a cat.

Me: What?

Him. Sam is NOT a cat. He is a BEAR.

Me: ... ?

Him: I was making the bed and I went to move him, and he whacked me. Hard.
He hit me in the side! It HURT. It STILL hurts! This is not a cat!




heh. I weighed Sam last week--he weighs 16 pounds. Mind you, this is not a laze about obese cat--he is solid muscle, and brings home gophers the size of squirrels. I think he brought in that damn spider last week...

When we moved in here, we closed all the doors and wouldn't let the cats out so they would decide that this was now home--I had read that somewhere, and it worked every other time we moved, but this was the first time we moved with Sam, and I guess he didn't read that article. The first thing he did when we opened a SCREENED window was wait until neither of us was watching, and proceeded to CLAW his way through the screen because he wanted OUTSIDE, dammit.
5 years later and the screen is still in shreds, since it became the "cat door" and replacing it would have meant he would have something else to tear open.
Unfortunately, said cat door is actually our bedroom window, right at the head of our bed, (of course, I'm the light sleeper--notice the timestamp on this post?) which makes my side of the bed Cat Highway.
I actually bought a cheesy 3 tier plant stand from Pic 'N' Save and set it up outside our window, screwing it into the wall, so the cats wouldn't be thumping and scrabbling in their travels. Last week we bought two doormats to go on said plant stand to try to control the amount of mud that gets tracked all over my pillow and side of the bed during the rainy season (read: NOW).
It's not working, but I'm pretending it is.

Interlude 447

"Don't kick over that funnel next to you..." (he gestures towards the kitchen floor) "there's a Jerusalem Cricket under it."

EVIL, EVIL MAN!!!!!

Romance...

He brought me flowers!!!!

Real, live, flowers!

Without having to be prompted, even!

Long-stemmed purple tulips. :-)

I didn't even know that tulips grew so long!

Funny thing was trying to find a vase--we've purged so much that the only thing I could find was a latching jar that had popping corn in it.

As I was arranging the flowers in the jar, TTK came in and said, "huh, I would have thought you would use something from your glass jar collection," and pointed upward.

DUH!!!!

So now they are beautifully arranged in my vintage Chemex coffeepot. :-)

eeeeee! He brought me flowers!!!

If I could have sex, he would so not be able to walk today...l

Short?

strange note: TTK is sitting next to me, programming, and I heard him mutter "short testicle zero."
?
I asked him WHAT he just said, and he looked at me from waaaay back in his brain as he tried to come back to humanland and translate what I said...then he answered "short test equals zero."
I started cracking up and told him to mutter it, very fast...he did, bemused, and shook his head like "what?" so I told him what I thought I had heard...heh.

Interlude #190

him: BRRRAAAP!

me: So much for your "one cheek sneak"...

him: No, I wasn't even trying for the "one cheek sneak"--that was more of a "two-ball burble."

me: AAAA [buries face in shirt]

him: I made you lose your shit!

me: Just don't lose yours!

Romantic Interlude

him: I could spend the rest of the night hugging you.

me: I could spend the rest of my *life* hugging you.

him: You just had to one-up me didn't you?

me: Not if you kill me before the end of the night.

him: See? Now I can't do it because I would miss out on these little life insights of joy and wisdom.

The Things You Do For Love

me: You're not allowed to die before me and leave me alone.

ttk: Okay...have some more acetaminophen.