I blame Facebook.

Yes, one year has gone by since I last posted.

I found it easier to do one-line updates and be social over on that other site.

Sigh.

I will get my blog going again, because FB doesn't have an easy way to save everything you've written.

TTKism #155

Him: Are you burning something?

Me: Noooooo...

Him: Oh, nevermind...it's just my computer.

Not Gone, and Not Really Forgotten...

Hmmm...it's been 3 months since I've posted!

I blame Facebook. It's too easy to just do one-line updates rather than an entire babbly post, so I've been updating over there and not here. 

And, unfortunately, I've become addicted to several of those damn "social networking" games! I haven't gotten addicted to a game in something like 8 years...and now, I have something like 5 that I play/check in on several times daily. It's actually starting to be a detriment to other areas of my life!

TTK suggested I just play it out, and let the addiction become tedium and then fade out of the games...I don't know if that's going to work, though, because glutting myself on something so I don't want it any more seems to only be effective with food.

Sigh. {click, click, click}

So, short recap of the last 3 months:

Migraines. Lots of them. Depression. Increase in Lamictal, in early March resulted in MUCH fewer migraines, but not much help on the depression...

Christmas was spent in Texas with TTK's relatives...we got back to find our Old Man Cat, Max, was almost completely incontinent, had lost even more weight, and was basically at the end of that road we all walk...

After 2 days of trying to get him to eat, and basically forcing water into him, we made the decision to take him in for the "gentle death."

The date was the first Friday of the new year.

Started the year off with a whimper.

The rest of January and all of February I mainly spent alone in a cold house while TTK worked 10-12 hour days, leaving before dawn and staggering back after dark, then falling into bed. We had The Talk about his workaholic-ness in early March, and things have been so much better--he's making a conscious effort to leave work at 6:30, like the rest of his colleagues. 

At the very end of February, TTK earned the moniker "Pinball Wizard" by swerving to avoid a minivan and basically bouncing his way through the toll chute...he called and said, "I'm OK, but..." and I knew he had been in an accident. After he told me the story, I said, "Well, you're 3 months late!" Since he's totalled a car every 4 years, heh.

Yes, it was totalled. Yes, we got him a new car, which he loves.

The surprise is that we got a "family car" as well! It's a Honda Fit...and it's purple.

And homely, but cute in a weird sort of way.

I now get to tell people I have a purple fit. Heh.

That's pretty much it. Oh, we had a tree fall down, missing everything vital (except a chunk of fence). And I finally found the pattern for the shawl I wanted to make for my mom, and I finished it in time for her birthday!

I'm still moody/depression woman, and insomnia is eating me alive. In fact, last time I slept was yesterday night. I tried to sleep, I really did, but no go.

I expect I'll be brumating for another month or so, and as the weather warms up and the sun stays around longer, I'll be doing better.

I hope.

Old Home Week, a la Facebook

So I've been cruising around the Facebook site, typing in the names from my sordid past (that I can remember) and seeing if they're signed up...

It's all very surreal, since I've fallen out of touch with 90% of them...no, make that 99%...

Now that I've sent out dozens of friend requests, I now have to actually interact and answer messages, and remember to sign on more than once a month. As I've said before, I'm really crappy at this sort of "social networking" sort of thing--both in real life and online.

I keep telling myself that now that we have a house, we can start having friends over, but the reality is between the construction and the unpacked (or partially unpacked) boxes everywhere, there's been no space or time for visiting. I'm trying to purge as I unpack, but it's all so time consuming and overwhelming. I keep having the urge to just cram stuff into storage or the pump house and ignore it for a while....but then I need something that is buried in one of the boxes, and things get dragged back in and strewn about. 

What I need is a wife. Or for TTK to be more involved in other aspects of the house besides HIS room, HIS stuff. There's a LOT of OUR stuff to be dealt with, but it seems that I get to do it all myself. GRRRRRR.

But, he is the "breadwinner" of our little family of two--all of his time is spent at the office in San Francisco--so he is doing his share for keeping us solvent. I just wish it included a bit more physical presence and effort, rather than him being gone all the time.

Yes, my new office position is in the corner of the main room, so I get to "survey my domain" and see all the boxes and the cat tumbleweeds and the mess...so of course I am posting about it.

Wheee! [THUD]

My Sister's Wedding

I have not posted about her wedding at all--it was just such an incredible and beautiful and tear-filled experience that I am still processing it emotionally.

My dad actually made it to walk her down the aisle, though it was kinda iffy there for a while--he ended up at the emergency room after the rehearsal Saturday, but insisted on checking out--he said to one of my uncles "If they have to roll me down the aisle in a gurney, I'll be there." 

And indeed he was--but walked. :-)

The look on my sister's face when he hugged her before sitting down made me start crying even though I was NOT going to cry while standing up there as bride's maid of honor (well, one of the brides, anyway!). When it came time for her to say her vows, she could hardly get the words out for the emotion and tears in her voice, and that made me cry even more. SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! The emotion, the joy of that day was such a strong current--everyone there was riding so high and there was so much love, it was almost hard to breathe. The night was over waaay too soon. :-)

Magical. It was magical.

And I was SOOO functional and together for the entire week I was down there, that I surprised myself--and collapsed for 4 days the second TTK and I got home. 

I think that if I hadn't had to be the Juggernaut for the house issues--moving, repairing, coordinating, hiring, getting estimates, buying, etc.--I wouldn't have been able to step up for this one. Sort of like Boot Camp...

Another Note to Self...

Read your own damn blog occasionally before posting.

Or just let everyone see how often you repeat yourself.

Bitterly Disappointed.

I so cannot go into the whole prop 8 thing...I'm just so damn happy my sister got married before a piddling 2 percent spread could etch discrimination into the California constitution.

Are you Registered?

You know me. You know I NEVER speak about politics, or religion with people, since there's so much hate and vitriol involved with those subjects...BUT I am breaking my own rule here because this is VERY dear to my heart.


My sister's wedding got me to thinking:

She's been in her relationship for as long as I have been with TTK. She has two kids with her partner, even...and yet until now she has not been able to be legally married. UNTIL NOW.
11 YEARS she and Anne have been together, have been in love and as one, and they only just now get to legalize that love and that commitment. WOW. Such an incredibly wonderful thing, I just wanted to cry thinking about it. Instead, I went here (California link) and reregistered to VOTE (since we moved and all)...

I encourage ALL of you to do the same--this is a really important election! There are people who don't consider gay people to be normal or acceptable, and so not allowed to be legally married. This time around, they're going for the state constitution, since what had gotten passed before in the year 2000 (proposition 22) was just an addition to the California Civil Code, and was overruled by a 2005 bill that passed the California Legislature, A.B. 849. Schwarzenegger promptly vetoed A.B. 849. (shot down, thanks Arnie.)

People sued against the fairness of 22, and the apellate court overturned 22 as unconstitutional. So, the latest proposition, proposition 8, is directly aimed at changing the constitution. Do you know what a bad thing that is? I can't even begin to explain, with my limited political terminology and rusty skills, how big of a deal it is to actually change the constitution.

Think of the constitution as the foundation of the house, and all the statutes and codes as walls and paint and surface changes--that later voters can adjust according to the times. But the constitution is the FOUNDATION--none of the surface stuff that gets passed can CHANGE that foundation. Amendments alter the foundation. There's such a far-reaching impact of amendments, that any proposition that is going for the foundation of the country/state/organization/government needs to be scrutinized to a much higher degree.

Usually I cast a dubious eye on anything in wikipedia, since I have found so many mistakes, erroneous facts, and outright lies and bias that I check other, more reputable sources before turning to wikipedia...but, in this case, there's actually a well-written, extensively annotated and researched article about this current issue, so if you want to know what's going on beyond the fear tactics and misleading statements in the political ads for this, go check out these pages, and take your research out from there.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_22_(2000)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_8_(2008)

So that's my foray into politics.
And it is motivated by love, not fear or superiority or distrust or any of the things I see as the basis of prop. 8.

NO ON PROP 8!

I love my sister, even if she is making me wear brown for her wedding. ;-)
(it's CALLED chocolate, but that's just a tasty attempt to confuse me. See, I know she's allergic to chocolate, so it's really just a dark brown. I'd believe it more if she'd said her wedding color was espresso. Heh--Espresso, Cream, Persimmon, and Moss. Except for the moss, it sounds like a new fall beverage at Starbucks. Heh. Just a little humor for those of you who made it to the end of my political rhetoric.)

just testing the photo capabilities of Picasa or whatever Google is doing now...

We're Reformed

We've changed, all you doubters: We're going to bed by 11 p.m.!

Of course, I don't fall asleep until about 4 a.m., but TTK crashes out, then gets up at 6 a.m. in order to get through the traffic on 101 (construction, of course, has lengthened his commute to 2 1/2 hours) and is off to work...

Meanwhile, construction starts here at 7:30 a.m., which makes me rather glad I am deaf on one side, and wear an earplug on the other.

I've never shopped so much in my entire life--pick out paint colors, a tub, tile, get a sink, choose the color of the faucets, how about a ceiling light, and what about outlets: do you want white ones, or beige, or even grey or almond? Now let's talk about baseboards--there's 4 different types in the house--do you want them all the same, since the baseboards in ttk's room have to be changed? And what about flooring to replace the Astro Turf in TTK's room? Closet doors? What kind of shelving do you want? How about floodlights? And you need a bathroom fan. And a countertop: there's cultured marble, granite, concrete, compressed recycled paper, tile, and of course Formica and Corian. Your vanity in the bathroom is a non-standard size, so whatever you get will need to be cut to fit. Do you want those shelves painted, or bare wood? If you want them painted, I should pick up the primed wood; but you should paint them if I get the primed wood. Oh, and the sump pump has been jury-rigged and doesn't really work, and the drain pipe just ends about 10 feet into the yard, under the rosebushes. 

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

I'm now off to Lowe's to buy a shower/tub thingy, and some welded wire, and a closet rod. And 3 light fixtures, and a bathroom fan. And probably something else I'm forgetting, which Alan will no doubt remind me of when I get back. First I am going to go eat, though--we still haven't really found the kitchen under all the boxes.

Oh shit--I have to unload the crap ttk left in the back of my truck. Sigh.

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I am sitting here, in our house, FINALLY!

With internet, even!

We are completely moved out of the other place.

[THUD]

I had a whole lot more to say, but frankly I am TOO TIRED to even breathe.

Everything is in boxes. Randomly packed in boxes that are not (or poorly) labelled.

Sam is freaked.

The dogs are confused.

TTK is exhausted.

Loki is the only one who is completely and totally unfazed--we locked the cats in the house so they could associate this place as being home, and this morning when I came out of the house, she walked up to me to be let in...I could swear she smiled.

Sleep well, sweet broken kitty.

She was fine when I left this morning.
She was already in rigor when I got home, 6 hours later.

Poor sweet little thing, she just never got a chance.
She had just turned two in July.


We had just decided that this would be our first night in the new house.

We'll bury her under the trellis rose there.

Ginsu
7/06-9/08

Happy Anniversary!!!!

You know how occasionally you have a one-night-stand that doesn't know when to LEAVE the next morning?

On this date 12 years ago, TTK came over to give me a backrub...ended up staying all night...and at some point we had sex, then talked about it and both decided we weren't into casual sex and wanted a relationship.

So basically, he was the one-night-stand that didn't leave. Heh.

Our other version is that I saw him online, decided I liked him, and stalked him for six months...clubbed him in the head and dragged him back to my lair.

Or I stalked him, but got tired so declared celibacy from all relationships...then a week later when I was on ICB I announced I would "kill or die for a backrub." Seconds later a private message came, from TTK, "I'll give you one!"

I panicked, said "how about tomorrow?" 

he came over the next night, and once again never left.

Heh.

I proposed for months, at random moments, and one day (at a random moment!) he said, "Yes, I'll marry you."

The rest I'll tell you later, but I'll leave you with this...

He's been packing his things very randomly. 

Last night we discovered that he packed the condoms.

[THUD]

As our searching got more frantic, realization dawned in TTK that they were in a box we had just taken to the new place...he shamefacedly and slowly told me...and I started cracking up.

talk about a buzzkill!

Ah, to be an inept teenager again...

Note to self...

check spelling before publishing post.

Wow--the shed is DOWN...

So I got tired of waiting for ttk to line up some guys to carry all the shit from the backyard to the dump/recycletown/new house, and a few weeks ago my contractor's second-in-command gave me his business card, because he does work on the side when not working for Alan.

Well, I spoke to him last week and asked if he could round up a couple of guys for some heavy lifting, and he did. And boy, did they ever lift-haul-demolish! They came Monday, as did ttk's mom, and between the 4 of us we got 80% of the shed done, and a huge amount of stuff purged--and they completely kicked my ass.

I was so sore and tired the next day that even though ttk's mom was here (overnighted in a local hotel) we didn't get anything else packed...instead, we went to a tile store and shopped for bathroom tile. :-)

That woman is incredible--on this one ttk did NOT inherit her manic energy...or maybe he did, and the meds suppress that energy.

Today the guys came again, and the rest of the crap from the shed (and I mean crap--the rats have had a field day in that shed, nesting and breeding and crapping and trashing) has been dragged off, and the shed itself (a carport thing from costco) has been dismantled!

They even took down the crappy awning ttk and I slapped together, and pulled all the pallets from every part of the yard and stacked it in one spot--my contractor is going to come by tomorrow and drag all the wood off and take it to a wood recycler (yay!).

Once again I am exhausted...I thought today was Friday, and not Thursday...so I get to go run all my errands tomorrow, if I survive.

I must say, here, bluntly, no hesitation, that I HATE MOVING!

Ugh.

I'm loving the thought of NEVER having to do this again, though. Less than a month. Less than a month to get out of here. 

The next big nasty hairball we have to deal with is the chickens, and my plants. I don't know how to get my half-barrel planters out of here--do I dig out all of my plants, and the dirt, and move the barrels, or do I try to move the barrels with dirt, or do I just give up on my plants in despair and let go.

Letting go is important--it's a matter of WHAT to let go of--we've been holding onto A LOT of this stuff in anticipation of a house, so some of it seems silly to turn around and get rid of it just before we move. A huge chunk of this stuff is just being dragged over to the driveway of the new place, and there we'll hose off, clean up, sort, purge. 

Tomorrow I am getting a desk...then we'll move my desk I *think* ...

my biggest problem is being torn between two houses, and where I am going to be sleeping and working...ugh. I just hope nothing gets ruined in this move...but something always does, so instead I should hope that nothing IMPORTANT gets ruined.

Sigh.

Paperwork and more paperwork...

"Introduction to Advance Health Care Directives"

"2008 ESTIMATED TAX FILING INSTRUCTIONS"

"Remicade Rebate Plans"

...not to mention all the other little projects sitting around here...

I survived...

Well, I survived the camera-in-unpleasant-places experience...so on to house news!

The main room is FINISHED and I scooted couches around for a half hour, and arranged other furniture as well. Our dinner table is built, I put together a bench and a chair, I have an idea about a desk, and I finally found a bathroom wall color.

The pest inspector came by as well, and my tuffshed-cum-chicken hut is installed. I found paint colors for the outside of the house, (consequent to ttk's agreement), finally lit upon a BATHTUB, and possibly found a paint color for the master bedroom. 

Moving right along!

Speaking of moving, our goal this weekend is to move all the crap from the shed at the old place--after we sort it, clean it (LAYERS of dust!) and purge--to the new place. Pretty lofty, but it needs to be done.

TTK still has not called any haulers or helpers, though that was his assignment 2 weeks ago...

In other news, I am hot, crabby, and shopping waaay too much on Ebay.

Here goes...

I just keep pretending I am on Fear Factor...

Infusion.

Today was yet another infusion of Remicade. It's working well, except the last 3 days I've had some breakthrough symptoms, so we're moving me to a 7 week cycle rather than 8-9 as we have been doing. My weight is up to 165, unfortunately. It just keeps creeping. I figured that I've been so busy here that I wouldn't gain weight, but no, I seem to have found time to eat...my new resolution is NO MORE GUMMY BEARS!!!!

Tomorrow is going to be even more lovely than sitting in a chair for 3 hours with a needle in my vein: tomorrow is colonoscopy prep day. Whee..so instead of sitting, I'll be s*itting...

Thursday is the easy day--I'll be all sedated for the colonoscopy itself, so that's the easy part. I can't tell you how nice it is now that all the baby boomers are hitting old age and having to get colonoscopies done--that means the techniques have improved greatly--my first few colonoscopies were WITHOUT anaesthesia...INCREDIBLY unpleasant, to say the least. Nothing like laying on a table while some guy shoves a camera up your ass...and up and up and up and *gurgle* ...

and then getting to watch it on the monitor...and seeing the little biopsy-bite-of-flesh-ripper come out and CHOMP a chunk of your intestine...

Oh, and the well broke yesterday.

Finally found someone who could come out this afternoon, and he was great! A good 'ole country boy, who had the well fixed before ttk and I could even get there. and it didn't cost us a fortune! About $129 bucks, actually. The worst part of the experience was not being able to have the guys work on the house today or yesterday, so everything is scooched back by 2 more days. Sigh.

On a somewhat amusing note, I seem to befuddle the remedial spell-checker that blogger uses--it doesn't like any of the medical words that I use with regularity. And it hates TTK's name. Heh.

That American of Games...

Catch-up.

Basically, the month of August...

week one my dad went into the hospital and I flew down to L.A. to see him...
week two, three and four were house house house.

There was more, really, but for the most part all was drowned out by migraines and stress.

So, August was a month of family and property, health and pain. Whee.

On the family side: My sister is getting married, yay!!!! It's coming up in October, and I'm doing a bunch of crocheted items for it...
My dad has some serious problems...30% liver function, ascites, emphysema, cirrhosis of the liver, partial thrombosis of the portal vein, splenomegaly, and a partridge in a pear tree...

Nana Roo is coming down to L.A. for a visit, from Australia...

On the house side:

My reptile room is done--we had to move critters out over here so we could clean and have an informal walk-through (we got an extension on our rental for another month), so their cages are all set up and it looks great! ...except for the floor, which I forgot to have our contractor, Al, paint before I moved everything in. I'm not ABOUT to have him move everything out, though, so funky concrete is how it's gonna stay.

We got our couches delivered on the 23rd--they're gorgeous! Black leather yumminess!
The main rooms are almost all painted...TTK said he'd "get out of the way of the cobalt juggernaut" so I've been making 90% of the decisions on the house...which means the colors are DARK and INTENSE.
The main room is grey, with dark green trim, and one wall is a Merlot/Aged wine color...the opposite wall is a deep blue-black, and the kitchen is light and medium green. It all actually looks really good, although my description isn't doing it justice.
It's all very dark, though, but he room is huge and there's plenty of light to offset the dark.
The hallways are painted "french clay" and if it's too dark, I plan to do a Venetian/Tuscan plaster technique with a lighter golden-ish glaze...
By Monday the main rooms will be ready for us to move in--which means we will get to put together our dining room table and chairs, and arrange our couches, and BUY ME A DESK! We're getting closer and closer to getting to move in!

TTK's mom came up on Wednesday and brought me a BEAUTIFUL antique curio cabinet for my guest room. It's perfect! I found it on Craigslist, and sent her the info, and she went to Santa Cruz, bargained it down, bought it and brought it up. The woman is a DYNAMO. She wouldn't tell me how much the cabinet was, saying I "deserve a nice mother-in-law!"
I gave her the tour, and we had a good time--and I went to bed at 9:30 that night, EXHAUSTED.

I need to take pictures...oh...last week when I went over to the house, I spotted TERMITES. Yes, termites. In the studio that we had tented, less than 2 months ago. GRRRR.

This week coming up is going to be HELLISH...Tuesday is my infusion, Wednesday is "prep day" and Thursday is Colonoscopy. Wheeeeeee.
[THUD]
Wednesday is the worst of the 3 days--the colonoscopy itself I am sedated, and Tuesday I just sit there with a needle in my arm...but the prep is a whole day of phospo-soda, shitting, and clear liquids. And shitting. NOT fun.

So that's it for now...